So basically when you become a mom you become second best, we tend to loose ourselves a little and don’t get that extra ME time we had before our lives were full up with our blessings.
It’s so easy to fall off the wagon and no matter how hard you try to stay on track its even harder.
Before I had kids I had the determination and control like a super human now I can’t even get passed day 3 of my diet without completely folding.
So what is the trick, how do we do all of this and still be a great mom and wife and for many others excel in their work career and studies ??
Self control needs to be restored.
Staring again does not mean failure it merely means starting over you’ve put today and yesterday behind you without beating yourself up about it.
I’m going to be determined this time. There are so many inspirations out there so I think first and foremost find your inspiration what drives you what will help you succeed and not give up.
Once you have the itch to get started set yourself realistic goals ones that are challenging yet achievable, get help for this if you’re not 100% sure what is right for you.
Next you need a wonderful support system, a husband to join the band wagon with you a friend to go walking with or a sister to help you when you are craving.
Introduce the new healthy ways into your everyday family life. It’s so much easier when everyone is eating the same as well as less tempting.
If you’re not quite clued up seek help from a professional we are always more likely to succeed once we’ve paid for a meal plan or exercise plan or are more likely to do our exercise if we have hired a trainer.
These things are costly but to get your butt into gear in the beginning it’s worth it.
I am doing exactly this and hope I have the self determination not to give up as I know the rewards are huge.
Find the time and set this as a priority try juggle things around with your partner or friend to get you that 1 hour a day where you can get out and exercise wether it’s walking in the fresh air or sweating it out on the gym.
Make sure you’re not hard on yourself. Everyone falls and fails at some point the test is how you come back and carry on.
This is what I tell myself all the time. Baby steps and although results may take longer than you anticipated there is no quick fix to feeling more energetic and being healthier smaller and happier. It takes time.
Let’s go on this journey together I’ll start updating each day or at the end of the week on my progress and if I can do it anyone can.
I will receive my plan and exercise schedule soon but until then I need to clean out and try get a head start.
So until the next update good luck all wish me luck I’m going to start a whole new me for me.
You know we’ve all heard the expression “from 18 you’re on your own”
Lucky enough for me that phrase didn’t quite manufacture itself until I had my kids.
Although I look back at the times Where I did struggle and we went through hard times with not much support I do thank my stars for them as they’ve def made me stronger. Although family our family especially will always be there when needed it’s hard when your lives are not untwined into each others as they used to be. As much as I wanted my mom to help all the time there were things I had to just get going and do myself. But before this we were in each others lives all the time and I think that change of going from being completely dependent on those around you to suddenly not having anything is a big change.
Change is inevitable and it takes many strides to accept it and to carry on and also start your “life” in this new phase. I was blessed to have family constantly around my parents have been a huge part in both mine and my children’s lives. My husband has always been a worker but I always had my mom and dad. Shopping Saturday mornings wedding planning baby planning and baby helping is what I’m grateful our time together consisted of.
I’m actually really grateful for just the right amount of time my parents gave me. Once I was married and had my children they gave me the tools to go at it myself but always were there. Prepping me for time that they would not be.
My parents were both working still when they became grandparents and as much as I wanted to be there 24/7 with them they also have a life. Although many weekends all weekends were contributed to me and my family I still felt guilty for taking that time so never expected anything more. My parents were the right balance to getting me to be a mom myself and being there when I needed them. Giving me the balance.
My husband and I have always been with our children I would want it no other way and I believe this is why we had our children. We don’t expect grand parents or family to be handed our children on weekends so we can pretend our lives have never changed. Nope our lives and weekends are based around our children and we try to do things together as a family.
We don’t have the luxury of having grandparents on either side now being everyday actively involved. As our other set are still working and my parents have moved to retire. My selfish demons wish I could have kept them around long enough to have enjoyed their retirement with them but that’s not to say the time we do have together isn’t magic it is every time we are together, and the bond they share with my children has never been stronger.
I just didn’t realize back then that being “grown up” would have days that are so hard.
It scares me to when one day my children leave or grow up, what then ?
I don’t know how to do anything else except be a little persons mommy.
I miss them so much when they were babies that I wish I had held on a little tighter and a little longer back then. Time waits for no one and it’s flying right by us.
Which brings me to my conclusion of being so grateful I got what I needed to be able to
Go at it alone ……
family is everything and now with my little family of 4 it’s important I give the same tools to my children to become the people I pray for them to be. Independent and strong to be who they were destined to be.
One of fear that something one day will happen to my child my baby I dont care how old they get they will always be our babies
As a parent it’s an ongoing cycle trying to keep our kids happy and healthy
When they are away from us it’s out of our control
Hearing stories come home of my eldest not being happy at school today didn’t sit well with me, as a boy in his class constantly is controlling his actions (at such a young age they are so impressionable) and my child being a softie can so easily succumb to peer pressure
I’ve written about bullying before and we’ve all seen the aftermath
When do we as parents get involved
My child is upset everyday, so do I reach out and talk to his teacher
Would she even know what’s going on?
Could she even care as much as I do as it’s my little boy ?
But when your child comes home with the same consistent moan about a child who he actually adores scary enough it worries me
I have a rush of feelings and emotion run over me what if ?
What will my son do or become
He’s such a follower and the thought of not having friends is worse than the one of getting in trouble or doing something you’re against
I remember I’d die for my friends and only the strong survived. I did so many things just to make people my friends like me I got used a lot too and today I have 2 true friends so it got me no where but I wasn’t ready to listen to my mom who always knew best
I don’t want this for my child
I can only talk to him and explain my history with him but it’s not the same he may take it but the will to follow might exceed
It scares me for the bigger things later on
Wow I didn’t know being a mom could be so hard
When you hear how upset someone has made your child you just want to take over but you can’t
I know I need to give him the wings to fly and the confidence to say no
I just hope and pray I do and will have done enough to keep him safe forever I know he’s going to get hurt and we have a long journey ahead it just scares me and brings tears to my eyes that I cannot do it for him
That I cannot be his voice or his feet
That I cannot be beside him or heal his broken heart
I wish someone explained a little more how hard this feeling of not being able to control his every move or action is. That someday he will leave completely and do it all himself. This feelings kills me
But I do understand that later that shall come now I can still stand beside him fight for what’s right and put any little kid in his place who tries to control my boy
Because today I’m his mom and I have the choice to let it slide or hear my child. Today I choose to listen to my son and I will step in
I will be his voice before something happens later.
So of course going through pregnancy our bodies change so much.
First time around I did everything right. I ate the right foods I exercised I drank water and looked after my skin. I only put on 9 kg with my son and after he was born I lost 7kg straight away and another 4 a week later. I was back even below my starting weight of pregnancy. But little did I know bout all the evil things to come by being a mom.
First when you’re breastfeeding you’re starving so you’re still eating for two not always the ideal to loosing weight.
When baby starts solids you’re constantly tasting their food is it too hot is it too cold even found myself having a few spoons.
Once they hit toddler stage it’s always nice to have a few sweet treats in the house, which in fact become you when you hit a low.
And when they don’t finish their food it’s either mom or dad who do as wasting is not an option. Eeek how do you stay trim when all this consumes your everyday.
Now second pregnancy I put on double hitting a very uncomfortable weight but I did it all wrong, my cravings were many and were sweet no wonder my daughter has such a sweet tooth. Carbs were the flavor of the day and because running after a toddler and working as well as being 8 months pregnant is not enough trust me my exercise routine and me time went out the window.
So I think to myself WHAT is my excuse now.
It’s actually sticking to something. I know what’s good to eat and what’s not but meal prep is hard work although being at home I should have no excuse except at times it can be very costly. So looking into getting healthy food packs or just learning to tell yourself NO.
Having some restraint I was so good and disciplined before I had kids. Now I end up snacking on all the wrong things. And loosing weight and staying in shape is becoming an up hill battle.
I’ve upped my exercise tried to cut down on unhealthy foods we don’t drink during the week so alcohol is not the problem. What can it be. Can it be the older I’m getting my body and hormones are just at a point of working against me.
Well I think the first thing is to make a choice and when started to stay consistent but not to be too restricted that you land up throwing it all away. It’s true what they say you are what you eat and 70% is diet and only 30% is exercise so making that choice to start and not go back needs to be a change the whole family can join in.
Cutting out sugar is going to be the first thing we do.
Sugar is a secret killer we all know that but it’s so so hard to resist.
Baby baby steps
Finding a plan that suits you and your body type is A the first step to make doing a little research also is a good thing.
Going natural and back to to basics veggies and fruit and cooking with new and exciting fresh foods and tastes.
That’s a tall order when the day is near over and the kitchen calls but a choice for the family you have to make.
Let’s see what happens when mind and body try to stay as one.
It’s def going to be a long journey but I know one that’s the best to take.
The overly protective parent where sometimes success is inhibited from our sense of fear
The over achiever parent who won’t take loosing as an option
The competitive parent who basically competes in every race their child is in and lives their dreams through their children
The compliant parent who believes taking part and having fun is all the matters
And the encouraging parent who has a happy balance between all parenting styles
I won’t lie I’m a little of many of these.
I build my kids up not to fail but not high enough that when they fall they can’t take the disappointment, I encourage them to enjoy everything they take part in, win or loose and even at times inhibit certain tasks because of my own fear.
I feel children need that positive influence wether or not they are able to win or not.
Watching my son at his gala today humbled me watching the children who hate the water and who actually can’t swim put their fears aside and finish their race. Wow what an achievement and a victory in itself.
Also very proud of my boy taking first place in his category I didn’t forget to mention to him how he should congratulate all his competitors and friends who took part.
Yes proud of himself he was as early morning brought on anxiety before even starting his gala.
Anxiety of wondering “will I win?” Will I finish?” “What if I loose?” All the questions in my sons competitive little brain. Fortunately or unfortunately he inherited his competitive nature from his father. Which I love because it makes him believe in himself and strive to push himself harder but I try balance that streak with him knowing not everyone is able as he is and being able to swim fast or be talented in a sport is a blessing and also comes with hard work and dedication.
If you want to be the best you need to act like the best, work hard and play hard. Dedication and determination is what sets you apart.
I will continue to encourage my children to aim high in all they do but if they fail that is not the end of the world that taking part and completing is also part of the game. To enjoy yourself and not to be a sore loser. To try teach them the skill of being humble and modest over arrogance.
I find that if I know it’s impossible of a task for them to achieve e.g if my daughter wanted to become a singer but I knew that was not going to happen as you’re born with this type of talent I’d never encourage something I knew was out of reach but rather get them to tap into their natural born talents and interests and strengthen those.
Positive encouragement sometimes can be the difference between a child succeeding and giving up for good. Positive reinforcement gives a child a will to achieve and to keep going.
I will try to keep this up in my home. Encouraging sports and to let their little talents shine through. If I feel either one of my kids is truly talented in something I will do everything to back them and push them to succeed and grow and of course be their number one 1 fan.
Most importantly to be the best you can be you need to be a team player too. I think it’s so important for children to be part of a team to feel success and loss in a group to know what working together is all about. So I truly encourage team sports as well as individual performance but being apart of a team is so much bigger. The skills they learn and work on are the best lessons for life they can have, as at some point in life they will have to comply and be apart of team and to understand that it’s not just them as an individual, but that by not helping those alongside you it can mean a fail for you too.
So much to look forward to and so much to guide them along. We cannot wish for them to be someone we were not or were, all we can wish for is that they try their best in all they do and most importantly I try and instill in my kids to always finish something they’ve started even if they feel like giving up.
Wishing all the best to all the moms and dads out there to set a good example to all our little competitors and to relay the message that it’s about the game not winning or loosing that counts xx
Wanting to do right by your kids is all you want. To make them happy, keep them stimulated, healthy and thriving.
Part of all of this is actually not being their friend.
I feel the more I am friends with my children the line between friend and authority/ parent becomes blurred.
And the harder the word no is to use.
I actually got to a place where they wouldn’t take no for an answer as if it were foreign coming out of my mouth but extremely fluent coming from them.
I’ve had to put many strategies into place and stay consistent with them to break the habit of the tables turning.
Remembering that I am the parent and tough love is actually a thing.
It’s better to stand your ground say no now than to have a spoilt brat on your hands later on. But saying no over and over again can have a negative quality too and may be a word your children might just tune out. Turn no into a positive by adding no not now, or mabey Tom, or explain to your child the reason of your decision to say no. I sometimes win but adding in that explanation as if I’ve said no sugar before bed they feel like why ?? When I’ve explained that sugar is bad before bed for all the many reasons they’re able to take my decision respectively and accept what I am telling them. Another great one is no not now, not declining their request just putting a hold on it till a more appropriate time just make sure when that time is more appropriate you can either accommodate their request or have a better explanation that will satisfy their why ??
Although it’s very difficult not to spoil your kids with what you can cause as parents that’s what we feel we should be doing. It’s actually hazardous to their growth. The word no needs to be exercised and understood and also taken without a tantrum and fight. That’s why short assertive explanations can help.
My eldest is able to reason and can take the word no or take an explanation that we are just not able to do that right now. My youngest is not quite there yet.
I’ve found the more consistent I’ve been with not giving in all the time the better behaved children I have. As their expectations all round have dropped. It’s taken a lot longer with my younger more dramatic child but slowly we are getting there.
There is also such a fine line and where to say ok I’ll do it, it’s not a problem or no It’s simply just not possible now, remember to add in the reasons why this helps.
It’s easy to turn the tables on them. As the word MOM is used about a billion times a day in our household if things that I’ve asked for have not been done I too will put my duties on strike. This is something the kids hate and when this is exercised they quickly fall back into place completing what has been asked of them.
Some will call it bribery and I call it smart as it works.
Their duties will never go unnoticed I feel having a star chart with a reward at the the end also works like a charm. It’s human nature to want to succeed and see their achievements.
There’s no more trips to the toy store for nothing. My eldest is also now given pocket money each week where he is able to either spend it or save it.
If their chart reflects great behavior with the completion of duties throughout the week this is where they will receive appreciation for it. They could possibly choose a place for us to have a meal that weekend or somewhere to go or an activity we can do as a family over giving them prizes that resemble monetary and material gifts. The kids actually prefer this too.
So as hard as it sometimes to disappoint those puppy dog eyes it’s also a feeling they need to learn and understand. Life is full of disappointment and unfairness as soon as they realize that they can’t have everything their little hearts desire without a little of their own input the better they will be able to be a useful and productive part of society.
So in conclusion NO within reason and with explanation is actually our friend and not a bad word to use often.
I find when I sit back and observe my day there are so many little things during the day I wish I could pause and capture for life….
…… there are also many things I wonder why it happened that way and how can I change my reactions to certain circumstances.
Having a 6 week break with my children is probably the biggest blessing I can have at the same time 6 weeks with them not being apart and dad working throughout the holidays can be somewhat testing at times.
Parenthood is def not peaches and cream all the time. I think the key is to find balance and to find things that can stimulate the kids at home.
My son enjoys LEGO building and can build for hours on end.
My daughter loves playing in her room with her dolls and toys.
This is a blessing for me as I know they’re not stuck infront of the tv all day and they are exploring and learning all by themselves.
Spending this time with them makes me realize the next time I’ll have these 6 weeks again they’ll be a whole year older.
Time waits for no one and as challenging as some days may be it’s a blessing being alive and well enough and able to have these moments with my children.
Hope you’ve all survived the break and enjoy a new beautiful year with your blessings ❤️
Mostly all schools and companies retire today for the year, for some it’s not a holiday and for others it’s the only time of the year they get to relax and unwind.
For me it’s already been a week if holiday at the coast with my children and parents.
I love this time of year,
And just time to laugh, relax and enjoy one another’s company.
Many families make their way to the coast for a holiday at the beach.
For us we are lucky as my parents now live here and our holidays are a little cheaper.
Some tips for traveling with your little ones,
1.Drive at Night.The most important, helpful, and best tip I can give you is to drive at night. This is great for multiple reasons. First, your toddler can sleep the whole way and you won’t have to worry about feeding him, listening to him cry because he wants to get out, or taking him out every time you stop to get gas. We first drove through the night over Christmas last year and it completely changed our road trip. The Mister and I were able to enjoy each other’s company, Little one slept the whole way, and we only had to stop to use the bathroom and get petrol. Another good thing about driving at night is that as long as you bring some snacks, you don’t have to stop and buy a whole meal (or two). So the only times you do stop can be to fill up and then you can get back on the road quickly. Saving time and making things easy! Remember there’s no rush, o don’t suggest driving far distances at night if your eye sight is not great and you yourself have not rested. It could then be very dangerous as one of our previous road trips turned out to be from that day my husband has always now opted to fly. 2. Bring New Toys.In the chance that you can’t drive at night, or that your child wakes up, make sure you bring a new new toys to distract your little. New toys are always great for long trips because toddlers seem more keen to play with them than their toys they already have. So a new toy can help distract your toddler from the fact that he is in a car seat (and has been for several hours).
3. Put Him in Comfortable Clothes.If you are going to be driving through the night, I highly suggest just putting your toddler in some pajamas. If not, other comfy clothes (like stretchy pants and a light t-shirt) are the best thing to dress your toddler in. Car seats straps are supposed to keep them in there tight and snug, so you want to give your toddler the comfort you can by dressing them in comfy clothes. I don’t know about you but I am always in a better mood when I have comfy clothes on in the car. Why would a toddler be any different? You pretty much want to take away all variables that can cause problems on a road trip.
4. Bring Snacks for You and Your Toddler.Before you leave, make sure you have good, healthy snacks to keep you and your toddler full and happy. My husband and I usually bring a cooler with drinks and a bag with different snacks. That way, we won’t have to buy things on the way. The key here is variety. Bring both salty and sweet things. This is true for your toddler’s snacks, too. Hopefully you can drive through the night and won’t have to worry about feeding your toddler, but you will still need to eat so make sure you have some good energizing snacks.
Stop a lot!!
If you’re feeling tired have your partner take over and have turns for different stretches.
Always abide by the road rules and have your children strapped in.
Make sure your tank is full and your car is road worthy for a long trip.
If you find it easier to fly with your little ones here are some tips ….
1. Understand the charges and regulations for each airline
If you’ve ever looked into flying with babies you’ll know that there are so many variations in the charges and regulations involved with taking your baby on a flight. Different airlines have different rules. Some charge for one thing; while with another it’s free.
Obviously the length of flight will also change suggestions.
2. Plan and plan some more
Blogger Vicki from online parenting magazine Honest mum’s top tip for flying with kids is be prepared-over-prepared. Vicki says: “you can never have too many wet wipes and snacks! Fill your bag with snacks, games, playing cards, a portable DVD player in case the aircraft doesn’t have one and make sure you buy water once you’re through check in. I always take extra clothes and medicine, you never know when your kids might get a temperature or feel unwell.”
3. Write notes for fellow passengers
Worried the other passengers on your flight are going to hate you if your child screams all the way from Cape to Cairo? Or, even worse, enjoys a penchant for kicking the back of the seat in front. Why not follow the example of the parents who handed out bags ofsweets to fellow passengers on their flight or pen them a message of apology in advance, people with children will always understand and if you know your child battles in confined spaces mabey give them something homeopathic or herbal to help.
4. Wet wipes and Pull Ups
Cathy frommummytravels.comsays: “pack some spare clothes for them and for you – even now my daughter is potty trained, I’ve kept some emergency pull-ups. And you can never have too many wet wipes! That way if there are delays or you’re in a plane that’s stuck on the runway for ages, you won’t be panicking…or spending a whole flight smelling less than fresh after an accident or unexpected illness. You almost certainly won’t need it but it makes me feel much more relaxed, and I think my daughter picks up on that too. That way flights are an exciting adventure, not a potential nightmare scenario.”
5. Keep it simple
A game can keep kids occupied and make the journey fly by – but you don’t want to be carrying lots of equipment to make it work. So keep it simple. Easy games like I-Spy are the best.
6. Consider a backpack for hand luggage
Gretta fromMumsdotravel.comsays: “my kids are teenagers now, but my top tip for flying with younger children is to have a backpack as hand luggage so that you have both hands free. That makes it easier for you to carry your child, or hold their hand, or push a buggy, or show your passports or whatever else you need to do at the airport.”
7. Hold your baby up high
Ok, so this one won’t work for everyone, but some parents have found that holding their baby above their head makes them stop crying. No scientific reason we can think of for this one working but hey, if it does the trick… Not one to do on takeoff though!
8. Pack each child a plane bag
Katie frommummydaddyandmemakesthree.co.uksays: “pack them a plane bag – We have three young children and my girls have amassed many flights between them at a young age. We always pack a plane bag for them, we don’t let them see if before we get on the flight and in it are cheap pocket money toys to keep them entertained. Things you can buy in supermarkets and that only cost a couple of rands each, like crayons, colouring books, little sets of Lego they can build and of course sweets in case all else fails! They love it and get excited to open them as soon as we are up in the air.”
9. Check the flight price for your little one
Assume your baby is flying free under 2?Double check. Oksana found she was expected to pay far more than she had imagined on one recent flight: “you may be surprised that some airlines force you to pay up to 75% for a ticket Buy a normal ticket. At least you will get extra space – that is really valuable.”
10. Check in early
If you are flying with the family, or holidaying with your extended kin (sharing a villa with your sister and her five kids perhaps?) you’ll be struggling to all sit together if you leave it late to check in. So do this online as soon as check-in it opens. Unless you don’t want to sit anywhere near your sister’s five kids, that is.
11. Tell the police
Skyscanner PR Manager and mother-of-two Mary Porter has loads oftips on flying with toddlers. Our favourite is: “warn young children of the ‘Aeroplane Police’ who are looking out for badly behaved children. I am not suggesting you scare them out of their wits (and admittedly we never did explain what the Aeroplane Police actually do when they catch a naughty child). However, it proved hugely effective in stopping my toddler climbing over seats, playing with the fold down table, kicking the seat in front and all the other things that passengers around you really love.”
12. Pre-order your baby formula
Check how much you’re allowed and make sure everything is properly sealed.
13. Be a slave to the (circadian) rhythm
If at all possible, choose flights at the ‘normal’ time your kids are meant to be falling asleep. If they’re shattered and it’s bedtime back home you might just find they’ll drop off. However, this could backfire if they’re so excited that they don’t want to sleep – tired and bratty is never a great start to a holiday.
14. Make regular toilet stops
“I don’t need to go” can quickly swing to the other end of the scale when it comes to childrens’ bladders – even the older ones. So make sure they go to the toilet immediately before getting on the plane/car. Don’t give them too many fluids either or they’ll be up and down to the toilet all the way to your destination – extremely annoying for the person in the aisle seat! This is sensible advice for adults too. Drinking five beers before getting on the plane is dangerous, especially for your bladder if you get held up boarding.
15. Play pilots
Kids scared of flying? So were Oksana Ermolaeva’s, a Skyscanner blogger forRussiawho made the whole thing into a game. “I played role games with her”, she says. “Let your child be a pilot or a flight attendant. Play everything that normally happens onboard. This really helps to avoid pre-flight and in-flight panic.”
16. Arm yourself with snacks
For the ones on solid, gown-up food, make sure you pack plenty of snacks. Like an irascible cat which hasn’t had its morning Whiskas, a hungry toddler will damn sure let you know if they’re hungry. So, until the in-flight meal is served, fend them off with snacks.
Must importantly for little ones and babies make sure they are chewing or sucking on take off and landing.
The pressure in the aero plane changes quickly and can be quite sore for little ears.
Airports are very busy and very distracting holding onto your valuables and children are very important.
I really hope everyone enjoys their holidays and have a safe sounding journey no matter how you get to your destinations.
Being an adult it’s hard enough to accept things we cannot change or that when things change to accept them but then how do we explain this to our children.
As disappointment is a fact of life and is going to happen alot it’s important to expose our children to these these things.
Allow them to understand when you’re disappointed and also to help them understand there’s nothing wrong with feeling disappointed that life happens and tom the sun will shine again.
It’s hard to disappoint those we love or to have that feeling when something has not gone our way.
It’s also important I feel that we don’t take this away from our children so that they learn to cope when it does happen.
As we plan our lives through bookings and appointments not always are things going to do smoothly or sometimes at all.
Life is so unpredictable we need to try not plan so much and let life happen.
That’s rich coming from me as I’m a type A personality and plan every second of my day. But I feel this also is what causes my anxiety and when things don’t go according to plan it upsets us.
I’ve become a lot less stressed about planning my entire life and let things happen which has undoubtedly reduced me being disappointed by far.
It’s as well said about people and friends and people you know too.
The less you expect the less you can be disappointed and upset when things don’t follow through.
This is what I’m trying to teach my kids. Just because someone said something doesn’t mean it’s always going to happen like that. But to encourage them to stick to their word and when they promise something and to follow through.
These learning curbs can be tricky but are so needed when you’re an adult in the big bad world.
When you expect less from people and don’t expect what you give then getting hurt and let down is brought to a minimum. Learn to protect your heart and your feelings first.
Just a little thought as we head into the weekend.