There’s many types of parenting out there:
The overly protective parent where sometimes success is inhibited from our sense of fear
The over achiever parent who won’t take loosing as an option
The competitive parent who basically competes in every race their child is in and lives their dreams through their children
The compliant parent who believes taking part and having fun is all the matters
And the encouraging parent who has a happy balance between all parenting styles
I won’t lie I’m a little of many of these.
I build my kids up not to fail but not high enough that when they fall they can’t take the disappointment, I encourage them to enjoy everything they take part in, win or loose and even at times inhibit certain tasks because of my own fear.
I feel children need that positive influence wether or not they are able to win or not.
Watching my son at his gala today humbled me watching the children who hate the water and who actually can’t swim put their fears aside and finish their race. Wow what an achievement and a victory in itself.
Also very proud of my boy taking first place in his category I didn’t forget to mention to him how he should congratulate all his competitors and friends who took part.
Yes proud of himself he was as early morning brought on anxiety before even starting his gala.
Anxiety of wondering “will I win?” Will I finish?” “What if I loose?” All the questions in my sons competitive little brain. Fortunately or unfortunately he inherited his competitive nature from his father. Which I love because it makes him believe in himself and strive to push himself harder but I try balance that streak with him knowing not everyone is able as he is and being able to swim fast or be talented in a sport is a blessing and also comes with hard work and dedication.
If you want to be the best you need to act like the best, work hard and play hard. Dedication and determination is what sets you apart.
I will continue to encourage my children to aim high in all they do but if they fail that is not the end of the world that taking part and completing is also part of the game. To enjoy yourself and not to be a sore loser. To try teach them the skill of being humble and modest over arrogance.
I find that if I know it’s impossible of a task for them to achieve e.g if my daughter wanted to become a singer but I knew that was not going to happen as you’re born with this type of talent I’d never encourage something I knew was out of reach but rather get them to tap into their natural born talents and interests and strengthen those.
Positive encouragement sometimes can be the difference between a child succeeding and giving up for good. Positive reinforcement gives a child a will to achieve and to keep going.
I will try to keep this up in my home. Encouraging sports and to let their little talents shine through. If I feel either one of my kids is truly talented in something I will do everything to back them and push them to succeed and grow and of course be their number one 1 fan.
Most importantly to be the best you can be you need to be a team player too. I think it’s so important for children to be part of a team to feel success and loss in a group to know what working together is all about. So I truly encourage team sports as well as individual performance but being apart of a team is so much bigger. The skills they learn and work on are the best lessons for life they can have, as at some point in life they will have to comply and be apart of team and to understand that it’s not just them as an individual, but that by not helping those alongside you it can mean a fail for you too.
So much to look forward to and so much to guide them along. We cannot wish for them to be someone we were not or were, all we can wish for is that they try their best in all they do and most importantly I try and instill in my kids to always finish something they’ve started even if they feel like giving up.
Wishing all the best to all the moms and dads out there to set a good example to all our little competitors and to relay the message that it’s about the game not winning or loosing that counts xx