You’re on your own

You know we’ve all heard the expression “from 18 you’re on your own”

Lucky enough for me that phrase didn’t quite manufacture itself until I had my kids.

Although I look back at the times Where I did struggle and we went through hard times with not much support I do thank my stars for them as they’ve def made me stronger. Although family our family especially will always be there when needed it’s hard when your lives are not untwined into each others as they used to be. As much as I wanted my mom to help all the time there were things I had to just get going and do myself. But before this we were in each others lives all the time and I think that change of going from being completely dependent on those around you to suddenly not having anything is a big change.

Change is inevitable and it takes many strides to accept it and to carry on and also start your “life” in this new phase. I was blessed to have family constantly around my parents have been a huge part in both mine and my children’s lives. My husband has always been a worker but I always had my mom and dad. Shopping Saturday mornings wedding planning baby planning and baby helping is what I’m grateful our time together consisted of.

I’m actually really grateful for just the right amount of time my parents gave me. Once I was married and had my children they gave me the tools to go at it myself but always were there. Prepping me for time that they would not be.

My parents were both working still when they became grandparents and as much as I wanted to be there 24/7 with them they also have a life. Although many weekends all weekends were contributed to me and my family I still felt guilty for taking that time so never expected anything more. My parents were the right balance to getting me to be a mom myself and being there when I needed them. Giving me the balance.

My husband and I have always been with our children I would want it no other way and I believe this is why we had our children. We don’t expect grand parents or family to be handed our children on weekends so we can pretend our lives have never changed. Nope our lives and weekends are based around our children and we try to do things together as a family.

We don’t have the luxury of having grandparents on either side now being everyday actively involved. As our other set are still working and my parents have moved to retire. My selfish demons wish I could have kept them around long enough to have enjoyed their retirement with them but that’s not to say the time we do have together isn’t magic it is every time we are together, and the bond they share with my children has never been stronger.

I just didn’t realize back then that being “grown up” would have days that are so hard.

It scares me to when one day my children leave or grow up, what then ?

I don’t know how to do anything else except be a little persons mommy.

I miss them so much when they were babies that I wish I had held on a little tighter and a little longer back then. Time waits for no one and it’s flying right by us.

Which brings me to my conclusion of being so grateful I got what I needed to be able to

Go at it alone ……

family is everything and now with my little family of 4 it’s important I give the same tools to my children to become the people I pray for them to be. Independent and strong to be who they were destined to be.