Keeping positive

Staying positive in life through the most difficult situations is what one must do.

Anxiety, stress and pressure can make you doubtful and can also cause reactions in yourself and towards others that should not be there.

Being the person you are today everyday will ensure that no matter what others say to or about you won’t change your character.

Stay true to who you are and others will feed off your positive soul one that can influence many.

A bright smile and gentle nature costs nothing but can make a big impact on all those around you.

Stay strong when the world tries to bring you down and remember when things bring you down you don’t need to sink to that level you can rise above any childishness and be the better person.

Remember who your true friends are and they know who you are so no need to justify or prove your worth to those who love you.

Each day on earth with those loved ones beside you is a blessing make it count.

Love is contagious so go spread it around.

Warm wishes all xx

Bullying is real

My post today is related to an article I read.

How bullying is real and rife and since social media become even more rife.

We’ve all had the school days where we were made fun of for some or another reason.

School for me particularly was somewhat like that. Mabey only from grade 7 did it become real that there were bullies out there but back then we may have thought it was just girls being girls??? Mabey that’s where most of my anxiety as an adult has come from. Leaving school you realize that those people who kept bringing you down do not matter and that you are in charge of your own destiny, that’s easier said until I read about bullying from such a young age of 6 and a little girl is hospitalized for anxiety from age 6 WTF????

Do we live in such a cruel world that the people who supervise these situations who are supposed to be trained to watch out for this cannot and have become part of the problem!

I taught preschool for many years and yes kids can be nasty!

But there are certain things you can teach your children to brush off and be strong and grow from.

Every child like every adult is not going to immediately get along and that’s ok. Is it wrong for us to make our children be friends with everyone ?? Especially if it’s with someone they do not like. No it’s not right but tolerance is. Yes I may not like everyone I come across but being respectful and tolerant of someone costs nothing.

I think this is what we should be teaching our children. I listen to my kids and their moans and yes if I hear the same moans day in and day out and if it’s physically and emotionally affecting my child I will step in but if its the usual “mommy he’s being ugly” or “mommy so and so doesn’t want to be my friend” I will encourage my child to be strong and find someone else to spend their time with. I will only get involved if it is physical or emotionally affecting my child.

But when I read stories of a 6 year old child being broken by those around her bullying her emotionally and no one stands up for her that makes me feel so sad that this is the world we growing in.

I feel at age 6 your life should be nothing short of happiness no stress no worries and here we have a little girl which I still consider her mommies baby being treated for emotional abuse and anxiety disorder at 6 this is just so so sad.

I pray all those involved can see where they are and recognize their faults.

I also do pray that my teachings with my own children stick and that they will always be those to protect the under dog and if are the underdog are strong enough to always communicate with me and me to make them strong to get through anything.

The world is a scary place and with the way technology is going there is so much more out there to Crush and destroy our children.

I can only pray that those affected are helped and are able to get through their situations and that my children are never apart of anything that hurts others or that they become a victim of it either.

Be good to those around you. It’s free to smile and be kind and costs nothing to be respectful and humble to those who cross your paths even those who are mean to you.

Teach our children to see the good in people and those that are different to look at them as something special not weird. To love all types big,small,weird freaky,tall,short,beautiful and ugly those are only perceptions of the observer it’s important to teach our children no matter what our differences; inside is what counts and is the most important.

If our youth grows learning the proper respectful ways our world will change for the better ❤️

Help those who look up to you. Be an example that they will be proud of. Stop bullying once and for all or be apart of the moment of prevention.

Warm wishes xxx

Finding yourself

Who are you

Growing up we go through many changes as such, we join so many groups and make friends with those we think we have many things in common.

Many of the latest trends phase out and we realize a lot of things are not for us.

We are trying to find out where we fit in, who we are and what we are good at as ultimately when we choose this is what we will be spending our lives doing.

We think we know

So heading straight out of school I knew I had a clear love for children. I started doing children’s parties painting faces and at the same time I was making a little money to put away.

I left school and joined a nursery school straight from the start. I loved my years teaching, learning about children and interacting with people day in and day out. Making many valuable friendships and memories. Something I will never forget it built me up to who I am today.

Who am I ?

So by spending pretty much 1/3 of life attending to my calling and new calling had reared it’s head.

Being a mom. All I’ve ever wanted to be. Is it so wrong to just be a mom. How this unexpected guilt has creeped up and how society expects more from us.

No we actually can’t just be moms and for people to think it’s ok. I know the only people we should worry about are those who are around us everyday. I know deep down it was the best thing I’ve done for my family and with that for myself too. Ofcourse I want to have more purpose but is it for me or for others. I feel every time mentioned as to what I am doing people judge yet they also do the same thing. I want to be my own boss make my own hours and answer to myself.

I want to only have my own made responsibility. For so long I longed for acceptance from those I worked for wanting to always do my best and do right by them. Shit it’s a lot in day when there are other worries that go on. I only want to be responsible for what I put myself into.

Yes I want to leave a legacy for my children. For long I thought if I am not a teacher or my children are older and do not need me who am I ? What am I ?

I know I need more for myself. But is it wrong to just be happy where I am now. Giving 110% of myself to my family and still being able to have time to myself.

I’ve never had this before mabey that’s why I feel so guilty.

I know what I’m looking for will come along. In the meantime I need to savor up all the time I have I have with my children.

I have done my fair share in judging I really try not too. Since becoming a mom and having a home and family I throw no judgment around yet I know I’m getting judged every single day of my life.

You think wrong

You think people are happy for you. They are not. I didn’t choose this I was happy being a working mom and trying to weigh up the odds this chose me. Why then do people look at you differently or continually ask what it is you’re doing or think you do absolutely nothing ?? Atleast those who have been my support or in my life all know the facts of where I am and where I’ve come from and that’s all that should be worth something.

Follow your heart

I probably in any dream I had never knew I would be blessed with what I have today. Number one my beautiful family. I feel the universe knows they need me and that’s what I’m doing. What I do with my extra seconds I want to dedicate doing something that compliments my already hectic schedule of being a mom. Something I’m proud of and enjoy and something my children can be apart of as they are my primary concern.

Following my heart is what I’m doing who I am is what I’m working on and what I’m going to do ??? Well let’s see only the future will tell ….

warm wishes all xxxx

Fathers are just as important

Being a women we naturally take the lead role when it comes to parenting, it’s just easier and sometimes we kind of just do it better 😜

Finding balance

Ever since I was a child I’ve come from a home where my father has always been a very active part in our childhood and growing up. I never expected anything less from my husband. Bringing two different childhoods into a marriage and into parenthood can be at times somewhat difficult.

Where my father was extremely hands on my spouses father was the family’s soul provider and worked very long, hard hours often not being able to be very hands on.

Now finding common ground with both paths coming together has been challenging, but in saying that has also showed us the pros and cons to both.

My husband has longed to be with his family as often he is the one working long hours being our family’s sole provider and him working does not mean he doesn’t want to be with us it’s was so that I could be with my children. To find balance has been important. Giving my husband a family has opened his heart and eyes to show him what is important and what counts in life. This is what has led to him making those important choices in business to work smart so all these things he can enjoy with us and not just hear about.

It’s also changed families and friends perceptions of him as often people do not see actually why the man does what he does but as men grow they mature and once they become fathers they realize exactly what is important in life.

My husband has always been an amazing father and I can see it more and more the older my children get.

Dads are often the more fun parent as well as the more patient parent.

This I don’t mind as it makes my heart grow and burst with love to watch my children with their father.

Men grow and mature when they become fathers

Before there was only us to worry about and being two adults we separately and together could fend and take care of ourselves. Fast forward a couple of years and all of that has changed. Now being responsible for another two lives forever has a greater impact than we know.

I often feel as I carry the burden of our family by being mom, having the responsibility not only for the children but our home too, but taking a back seat and actually thinking about it it’s the teeny tiniest things compared to the burdens a man or my man goes to sleep worrying about.

Our children’s well being their future their education everything monitory as well as their physical and emotional development is what my spouse is continually contributing too. That is why when it comes to our children I do as much as I can even though our household is 50/50 if it’s something I can do I do it. I don’t expect my husband to do extra chores and things after along days work. He enjoys playing with the children and bonding with them during this time and if I’m able to make this happen as well as help and contribute 100 % to everything else I’ll do it it’s actually the very least I can do and it makes me feel good to know I am contributing somewhere.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom and if I can find ways to help out everywhere else so I can be a mom I do it. I love being with my children and to know now this is my main responsibility is all I’ve wanted. With being able to do little by little contribute financially by doing my own things has been a blessing in disguise.

Dads role

Having a pigeon pair my spouse role is very different to both my children.

He is there to show my son how to be a man and treat women and girls and he’s there to show my daughter how she should be treated and how not to take anything less than the best.

A fathers role I feel actually is much more important than a moms.

Later this shapes our little people into the adults they become.

Where I nurture and create humility my spouse adds to their spontaneous side, giving them the tools to be strong, brave and adventurous in life.

Dads know best

We both have our strengths as parents and do a lot of the decision making together when it’s regarding our children.

It’s important to have that input from someone to have that support and to have someone to agree and also disagree with.

Becoming a father has definitely brought out the softer side in my spouse. There is nothing more rewarding than watching the 3 of them together.

I love seeing the influences he brings into my children and also his harder qualities I see in them to which is where mamma comes in to soften that.

But at the end of the day, DAD is their best friend and the continuous effort I see in them to please dad and make him proud makes me happy to know there are many things he’s given them that i just couldn’t.

It breaks my heart to see families that don’t have this important figure in them to guide them or that have a dad who cant or won’t fulfill their role as a father.

I’m blessed to know that my spouse actually has become the man he is today because of his children and the four of us are a team that no one can break.

Blessed beyond, there are just certain things dads do better and I can admit that. Well done to all those dads who take an active role in their children’s lives, not because you’re giving your wife a break, or because she asked you to but because you are dad and you know what it takes to be a father.

Best wishes all xxx

Hope you’re doing it right

Being a mom we have many anxieties that creep up on us each day.

We remember all the things we’ve learnt all the advices given but there is only one way and that’s your way.

But, are we doing right,

I just hope and pray that one day I’ve made two little people into adults that have all the tools to cope in our big bad world.

I often think to myself I just hope the way we parent and do things is the right way for them.

I can only but try to instill humility, braveness, strength, compassion, love, loyalty, and drive to succeed for them. I will be so proud of them No matter what but to build these qualities into them that one day they can pass onto their children is my goal.

I pray they are successful and happy at the same time that they find balance in everything and most importantly that they live a life that makes them feel fulfilled.

I will not look forward to the day I have to let them go but mabey when they’re like 50 I’ll think about it.

Parenting is one of the biggest challenges two people face together but one of the most rewarding.

Holding on for as long as I can is something I will do,

Letting go slowly is what I’m working on,

Loving and appreciating every second we have together is what we are grateful for now!!!

Love each and every stage, it goes so fast 🌈

Warm wishes xxx

Family is important

Feeling low? Where do you go? Feeling happy? Who do you tell first? Exciting news? Who do you call? A shoulder to cry on? Who is there ?

Family

It’s just amazing to me to know that no matter what there are those few people my family members who will always be there for me,

That’s inspired me to even tattoo it onto my body

Famiglia prima e per sempre

Family first and forever

They get me

It’s not often that someone gets you the way your family does, yes they’ve known you your whole life but no matter what they get you! It’s comforting to know when you’ve had a day where you feel no one understands you that you can come home and the people you share your home with understand or try to understand you.

Your husband becomes family

When I feel no one knows what I’m going through and my mom and dad are too far to talk to I know there’s one person who backs me up no matter what, that’s my husband. He may at times disagree with my thoughts and actions at times but no matter what takes my side, builds me up and reassures me that everything will be ok. It’s important more than ever that the relationship with your spouse becomes the strongest as they become your family. I couldn’t ask for more when needing the support he’s there, when I’m sad he makes me laugh, when I’m hurt he fixes it this is now my family.

They believe in you

You can spend your whole life trying to prove to others who you are, going through life being supportive to others, trusting those around you wanting to be the best you can be and trying to be there for others. When actually you neglect those closest to you and still they support you. You can try be kind, caring and put your hardest into the relationships and friendships around you but people can walk away and turn off just like that but know your family will always be there. We should only worry what they think. Ask their opinions and strive to make them proud of you. I’ve always tried to be a nice, down to earth person and walk around with my heart on my sleeve, but since I can remember this has only brought me heart ache. Why do we worry so much what others think and feel? Why do so much and gain approval from those who are not in our lives, well that’s just me. I hate people thinking ill of me or that I’m a bad person I guess I do get that from my parents who have taught me to be humble and true no matter what. I pray I can pass this and a thicker skin onto my children.

Family makes us whole

There is nothing better than being in a room and spending time with all my family. The laughs, the stories and just the affection all around I miss having that all the time. As we get older and make our own lives with our own little families it’s hard to let go of where we were. Time waits for no one and making each day count is the important thing.

Family has made me who I am today and made my children who they are today.

Grandparents are important

Growing up I never spent the time I should have with my grand parents. As we lived in different areas our time together was not like what my children have with their grand parents. I’ve seen what an impact my parents and in laws have on my children and again am so blessed to have them in our lives. When life changes and it’s time for our parents to live their lives after giving us everything it’s hard to accept them not being in our lives day in and day out. I miss the fact that being with my parents every weekend we could watch the kids and share our weekly stories and it feels as if we’ve all had these children not just my husband and I. I pray I will be just as close to my children as they get older and to apart of their lives every step of the way to.

Making new memories

Bringing two people together in marriage and starting a family is very difficult at times. As two different childhoods are being combined and creating a new generation. There are no right or wrong ways but trusting in each other is the only way to go. Even though all I have are my fond childhood memories it’s important now to create those for my children and becoming a strong family unit with the four of us is what matters.

Yes I wish I had a sister that was my best friend and we spent all our time together but your siblings should always be there for another no matter the circumstances . I pray my little pigeon pair don’t grow apart when they are older when their commonality changes. I pray they count each other into everything they do as there is nothing better than having a sibling as your biggest fan and best friend.

The few friends become family

Yes as we grow older and meet those we have things in common with there are the very few friends who actually become family. It’s important to keep these friendships strong as the support and extra love and care is never enough. Having those special few that too support you and your family are just as important as your immediate family. We may not have many but the few we have are our family.

Life is family

I think it’s very important to instill family time as your children get older. That they know every Sunday is our special time together no matter what from now until they have their own families.

One thing I’ve been blessed to have is a family and a home that has positively impacted my life and made me the person and mom I am today.

Be good to those who love you, as they are all that matters !!!!

Warm wishes xxx

Lost my faith in humanity

Becoming a parent is probably a feeling only one who is a parent can explain and understand.

From the day that child arrives you swear to protect them till the day you die. Trust me I know my children are not angels but anyone ever lay their hand on my child I’ll kill.

In recent news here in South Africa we’ve been told a women is raped every 3 seconds. A child is abused every 5 and the list continues, but when you put the two together and statistics start making headlines of children being raped my blood boils.

A story we’ve all been following has really taken Centre stage this week, although this hideous act is being committed more than we know terrifies me. In the rural areas I know this happens a lot and some stories don’t even make the news and it starts to become the norm. But please someone tell me HOW can one have such sick thoughts about a child,thoughts that many have put into action. It sickens me to the thought.

This recent story has hit home as I watch my beautiful little girl grow. How many of us moms frequent our neighborhood restaurants without even thinking twice. At age 6 we are teaching our kids to be independent and do a lot on their own, Now we can’t even do that.

How a vile, evil spawn may sit just in front of them watching our children like prey and awaiting their chance to attack.

We had to be tortured with pictures of children being kidnapped and sold on the child trafficking market, now pictures of this recent event actually keeps me up.

An innocent 6 year old girl attends to the bathroom and gets snatched from the ladies and violently raped in the men’s bathroom where her attacker knew deep down he would get caught how would he not, and he didn’t care any way his urge was so strong that he forces a 6 year old baby child to have sex and leaves her broken, shivering, naked and bleeding from the groin. What kind of animal is surfacing into our society, and was this his first?

He should have died that day as many civilians tried to kill him, I know in all honesty I would have. My husband and I cannot even discuss the topic as he says to me how this only infuriates him and how he would shoot to kill.

How could one keep this man alive? Although I don’t think it will be for very long. I pray he feels the wrath of the Lords vengeance against him not even God would give penance. I know his justice will come. But this does not bring this beautiful child’s innocence back.

He’s scarred her emotionally and physically as well as physiologically for the rest of her life. Trust she will never have. Trust in a man she will never learn. Fear, guilt pain are all these things she will suffer more intensely the older she gets.

How I wish circumstances were different as I watch my beautiful children and feel so blessed to have them healthy and happy and unaware of the filth in this world.

Yes they need to be aware but at 6 how do you explain to a child the means of these circumstances and the severity of going to bathrooms alone.

It just sickens and saddens me that this poor family have suffered this ordeal and it’s just the beginning.

Hold onto your children safely there are predators everywhere even when we think we are safe we are not.

Praying Gods protective hands heal as much as they can to all those who have suffered from circumstances like this and can only pray he will keep mine safe.

Holding onto my children tonight I have never been more thankful and blessed.

Take care all xx

Warm wishes xxx

When you’re a mom:

When you’re a mom you learn certain superhero techniques, and also thinking back about a lot of the stuff we used to take for granted, so since becoming a mom I’ve :

New born stage

. Learnt to cope on 3-4 hours sleep

. Learned to sleep with one ear open

. Learned to multi task like an octopus

. Learned to bath in under 5 min

. Learned to nap standing up

. Learned to leopard crawl out the baby’s room without even a sound

Time is probably the biggest thing I took for granted before being a mom, I actually don’t know what I’d be doing if I wasn’t doing something for my family,

It scares me for when they don’t need me as much anymore

Toddler phase

. Learned to never underestimate my child

. Learned that 5 min of them quiet can be world war 3 anywhere in the house

. Learned that going to the loo, bathing and anything I once did alone is now a group effort

. Learned that both children must always have the exactly same thing, coloured cups or plates, toys or any special gift as they always want what the others got

. Learned that you never fight with a 3 year old you always come out second best

. Learned to pick my battles wisely and only enforce what is totally necessary

. Learned that if they want to wear the same shirt three days in a row a night is just enough to do an entire load of washing and dry it

. Learned that doesn’t matter how hard you try they will always find the carrot

. Learned that sugar is evil even the smallest amount

. Learned that the broom is my best friend

. Learned that the word no can cause catastrophic reactions

. Learned to never leave scissors, cream or anything quite so appealing unattended or the three year old unattended

. Learned that no matter what I always have extra hands trying to help fix up “mess”

. Learned to be the best negotiator ever

. Learned that no never really means no

.Learned that as a mom you’re never allowed to be sick or that nothing changes when you are

I’ve learned that no matter what I will always have 2 of my biggest fans right beside me and whenever I need a pick me up I can have unconditional love, hugs and kisses,

That dishes can wait and no matter how hard you try there will always be a mess somewhere in the house,

I too have learnt that I can do everything perfectly one day and the next the exact same thing is just wrong,

I sometimes doubt myself and question my efforts as a mom, thinking I’m the cause of certain problems but then realize they are exploring, learning and testing boundaries too.

I’ve learnt to embrace every single one of these things looking back and learnt to laugh and remember those days as they pass so quickly and I’ll be longing for the day my toddler did something I thought was atrocious instead of waiting up till 2 am for them to come home.

I hope all these collection of memories build us up to handle what is coming….

I’ve learnt that since becoming a mom you can’t take things too seriously and sometimes shit happens excuse the pun,

Motherhood ain’t for sissies and I’m a better person for it !!

So much more to come and embrace❤️

Warm wishes all xxxx

To my princess

Something for the little lady in my life:

God knew I never had a sister who I could call my best friend, so he sent me you and we have been connected from the beginning and I pray till the end,

Your innocence, soft touch and constant love, kisses and carefree ways, have made me want to freeze these days,

Dressing you up like my little doll in the cutest most precious things, has made even the toughest of days only blessings,

You’ve filled the void that was present before I had you, now there’s nothing for you I wouldn’t do,

Your personality is mix of warrior and princess, and your actions always leave a mess,

But you creep into and melt even the hardest of souls, and your tenderness is even shown to your little dolls,

I’m so excited to share our future memories of all life’s highs and lows, I’ll be here for you even when your friends become foes,

I love your optimistic and easy going attitude, your likable nature would kill any feud,

I thank God for putting you in my life and making me your mommy, I love you even when you don’t want to say sorry,

Stay the little princess you are, and you’ll knock life out the park by far,

I can’t hold you back forever, but I’ll be right behind you every step of the way and leave never,

Never fail Mommy will be here no matter what, even when you feel you’re in a rut,

It’s been an honor to hear your words of Mommy I love you, you can never say this to few,

Now I know why my mommy was always right, as till this day we are are still tight, she’s my best friend now, then and forever will be, I do hope you know all I do will be so one day you to will see,

Be the strong independent women I know you are, I hope your reflection is seen to be the most perfect by far.

Love always to my little girl XX

My first born

Trying out a little poetry inspired by my blessings:

From the moment I knew you were there, I felt our connection,

I wanted to give you everything, you were the object of my affection,

Watching you grow has been a journey we share, some nights when you’re asleep I just stop and stare,

You light up my life day in and day out, when we’re apart not a minute passes that I don’t worry about,

Your future, your safety, your education and well being, you’ve given my life new meaning,

Having a son is truly a blessing from above, how can I not fill your days with pure love,

Your stubborn traits and personality mimic mine, which sometimes puts you in situations that are not fine,

I pray only for your happiness, health and a family for you too one day, but until then our home is yours and will be forever when you come to stay,

There’s still so much I need to teach you and show you, together new journeys we will do,

You are kind and gentle to all you meet big or small, I will be here always when you fall,

I encourage you to be true to who are, and I promise you this your humbleness will take you far,

These moments I’ll cherish forever in my heart, as you have been my TRUE love straight from the very start.

Warm wishes xx